Why do heterosexual men visit transsexual escorts?

If a straight man visits a Thai ladyboy does that make him bisexual? Is a man gay if he visits a trans escort? Why do heterosexual men visit transsexual escorts?

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Answers: 3

Despite the intolerance surrounding transsexualism in modern society, a quick visit to the front page of any porn site will quickly tell you that there is a market for it. According to PornHub's 2018 year in review, the fifth most popular search term was ‘trans' – a 167% increase in last year among searches by men and more than 200% among users over the age of 45. With so many older men interested in transsexual porn, it's not surprising that this translates to increased demand for trans sex workers. But how exactly does this impact how these men view their sexuality? It would be easy to assume that men willing to seek out trans sex workers might be a little more secure in their sexuality, perhaps identifying as bisexual or pansexual, but this is far from the truth. A 2015 article from Vice investigated the idea of trans-amorous men and how they view their sexuality. This article, though mostly anecdotal in nature, found that many men who seek services from trans women sex workers identified as heterosexual. Many even expressed fears about whether having sex with a trans woman might make them gay. Perhaps the question is not ‘why are so many heterosexual men visiting transsexual escorts?' but ‘are they heterosexual at all?' In the modern age of identity politics, there is a tendency to label things. But sexuality is a spectrum – is it fair or accurate to pigeonhole people into a term that may not reflect their lifestyle? Perhaps for these men, heterosexual is not a valid term, but homo​sexual might not be either. The likely truth is that sexuality is far more complicated than our society would like to admit. For men who are not yet comfortable with who they are, seeking experiences with a stranger might be the best way for them to figure that out. Or at the very least indulge those desires in a private setting.

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It has been pretty well established over the last decade that gender and sexuality are a spectrum, rather than a simple absolute. The acronym that encompasses the LGBT community is ever-growing at a rate hitherto unheard of amongst acronyms and currently stands as LGBTTQQIAAP although this is still considered to be excluding some members of said community. But, we aren’t here to discuss the labels as such. We are here to answer the question as to whether a straight man who has a sexual experience with a Thai ladyboy is bisexual? First, some background: As you are no doubt well aware the sex trade in Thailand is a booming industry. With an estimated 200,000 prostitutes currently working, producing somewhere between $2.5 and $4 billion every year. The ‘ladyboy’ sex worker has become synonymous with Thailand. But despite their popularity, they are still referred to by this offensive label rather than the more widely accepted ‘transgender women’. But, I digress. The question of whether a straight man is bi-sexual if they enter into a sexual relationship with a transgender woman is a complex one that seemingly has a simple answer...which is yes; they are bi-sexual. However, some believe that if you are, to quote New Zealand comedy duo Flight of the Conchords, ‘pretending they're a woman’ then how can that be gay, or in this case, bi-sexual? Many British immigrants pursue relations with Thai transgender women, men who by all accounts seem like stereotypical British heteros, so are they bi-sexual? Latent perhaps? Does it really matter? Identity is of paramount importance, as is tolerance and acceptance, in the modern-day world but is labelling so important? The liberal left used to hate labels, yet now every sub-section of every sub-section of society requires an acronym label. So, I ask you if a straight man has a sexual experience with a Thai ladyboy does that make him bisexual? Probably, yes, but why does it matter? Perhaps we should just live and let live, as it were, instead of querying people's lives.

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So you had sex with a ladyboy and are now having mixed feelings about it. You might be wondering what it means and whether having sex with a Thai ladyboy changes your sexuality. Are you now, bisexual? First of all, Thai ladyboys (or kathoeys) identify as women. They are born as a male but live their lives as females, which makes them transgender women. Generally, they still have male genitalia. However, their sexuality is not just limited to one, and they can either be gay (attracted to males), heterosexual, (attracted to females) or bisexual, (attracted to both genders). ​We are all attracted to one's looks and personality rather than knowing what their genitals are. Therefore, it is no wonder that straight men are attracted to ladyboys. You were attracted to the feminine qualities that they have and not to their genitalia. Now, when you found out that they do have male genitalia, you weren’t completely put off by it, and during sex you could still see that she is a woman. That does not change the fact that you were still attracted to her and not to her dick. You then start to question about the whole experience. If you enjoyed the sex, then what about the labels of gender and sexuality? Do genitalia define gender or are these just labels that are put on gender and sexuality to restrict ourselves? Having sex with a Thai ladyboy has opened you up to explore your sexuality and experiment with it. So, stop worrying about labels around gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight. Don’t put yourself down. We are all attracted to what we see and having sex with a ladyboy is probably not going to make you bisexual or gay. It might have opened your way of thinking, being more fluid when defining gender and sexuality.

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2019-11-22