If I have sex with a ladyboy escort am I gay?

If a straight man has a sexual experience with a Thai ladyboy does that make him gay or bisexual?

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Answers: 1

To answer this question lets first explore some of the definitions so that we’re on the same page. A Thai ladyboy can be identified in our culture as a man who identifies as a woman; he’s transgender. The correct and more respectful terminology for a Thai ladyboy is a Kathoey. In Western culture, however, ‘Thai ladyboys’ are represented as the butt of the joke, their roles in cinema are the part where the lead mistakes them for a beautiful woman at the bar, only for them to turn around and their true identity is revealed, with an Adams apple and an unsightly bulge. However, this isn’t the case in modern Thailand where kathoeys often work for high brow organisations and are represented in a kinder light in cinema and often as the lead female character with no connotations to their birth gender. Bisexual is a pretty common term, but in case you need refreshing on what it means it is someone who is attracted to both sexes. So now that’s cleared up let’s get onto the big question. If a heterosexual man has a sexual experience with a Kathoey, does he then automatically become a bi-sexual? Like a level up on a computer game. Not necessarily, it’s about the person in the situation, their reasons for being there and what their experience was like and opinions on it afterwards. As we are outsiders looking in we need to take into account we come with our own beliefs and baggage. You might believe that biologically it is still two men seeking part in a sexual experience with one another. So you might be first to label him as bisexual. However, I would argue that at that moment (if we are viewing them as two men), he was bi-curious. Simply experimenting and would only be identifiable as a bisexual if he then decides he is attracted to the opposite sex (rather than it just being a one-off experience). In the 21st century, as an emotionally evolving species, we need to be more respectful to other peoples wishes. If the Kathoey identifies as a woman, then we should respect that, and if this is the case (and it should be), then the heterosexual man in this scenario can’t be seen as a bisexual. To add to this point, the man is attracted to someone who looks like a woman, has exaggerated feminine features and wants to be a woman (seems pretty straight to me). My wishy-washy answer to the question is if he wishes to identify as a bi-sexual because of this experience, then it is his choice to do so. It’s not up to society to label him like this, especially when it’s not politically correct. For a more definite answer which is still just my opinion, I think the ‘straight man’ is attracted to the Kathoey’s femininity, and she is excited by his masculinity which is, therefore, a heterosexual relationship.​

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2019-11-15